Comments on: What’s Up with Seven-Year-Old Boys? http://unchartedparent.com/?p=839 Because every parent goes where no parent has gone before Fri, 03 Sep 2010 03:41:00 -0600 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Tracy Hahn-Burkett http://unchartedparent.com/?p=839&cpage=1#comment-28087 Tracy Hahn-Burkett Mon, 07 Dec 2009 12:52:03 +0000 http://unchartedparent.com/?p=839#comment-28087 Margaret, Thanks for reading and for asking your question. The piece of your comment that jumped out at me, in front of everything else, is where you say that one of your boys tries--and in this case, succeeded--to hurt the other. This behavior needs to be addressed immediately, and probably with professional assistance. You could try working with or through your social worker and/or seeking private counseling, but a specialist needs to be brought into the situation to make sure that your other child is not physically in danger. As for the disciplinary question: any child in the foster care system is likely suffering from a lack of consistency, and you and your husband will help him immensely by providing consistency and stability to the extent you are able. You will make an impact on him regardless of which strategy you choose; it's more important that you and your husband present a united front and don't undermine each other in your disciplinary techniques. Margaret,

Thanks for reading and for asking your question.

The piece of your comment that jumped out at me, in front of everything else, is where you say that one of your boys tries–and in this case, succeeded–to hurt the other. This behavior needs to be addressed immediately, and probably with professional assistance. You could try working with or through your social worker and/or seeking private counseling, but a specialist needs to be brought into the situation to make sure that your other child is not physically in danger.

As for the disciplinary question: any child in the foster care system is likely suffering from a lack of consistency, and you and your husband will help him immensely by providing consistency and stability to the extent you are able. You will make an impact on him regardless of which strategy you choose; it’s more important that you and your husband present a united front and don’t undermine each other in your disciplinary techniques.

]]> By: Margaret http://unchartedparent.com/?p=839&cpage=1#comment-28085 Margaret Mon, 07 Dec 2009 04:36:22 +0000 http://unchartedparent.com/?p=839#comment-28085 Okay, folks...here we go. My husband and I are foster parents to two boys, very close in age, born in early 2001 and in late 2002. The younger of the two, now 7, sometimes acts as if he's finally going through his terrible twos and stubborn threes stages: we truly believe he was never really "allowed" to before, but he is at this time, now that he is in a safe place where people actually want him. He throws the occasional tantrum in which he is wont to state an emphatic "No!" to every request. He also gets himself into difficulties trying to physically hurt his brother. Tonight, he did both, and I took away a school field trip. My husband thinks I should give him a chance to earn it back, I do not. Complicating the matter is the fact that when I was trying to get him to do the things to which he was emphatically saying "No!" my husband felt that he had to come into the bedroom and rescue me, which he didn't have to do. The boy did not do what he needed to do until my husband said he was going to take away four week's T.V. if he didn't. I say giving him a chance to earn back his field trip will undermine the expectation that he listen to me, as well as to his father, and, as I've said, my husband thinks he should be given a chance to earn back the trip. Advice? Okay, folks…here we go. My husband and I are foster parents to two boys, very close in age, born in early 2001 and in late 2002. The younger of the two, now 7, sometimes acts as if he’s finally going through his terrible twos and stubborn threes stages: we truly believe he was never really “allowed” to before, but he is at this time, now that he is in a safe place where people actually want him. He throws the occasional tantrum in which he is wont to state an emphatic “No!” to every request. He also gets himself into difficulties trying to physically hurt his brother. Tonight, he did both, and I took away a school field trip. My husband thinks I should give him a chance to earn it back, I do not. Complicating the matter is the fact that when I was trying to get him to do the things to which he was emphatically saying “No!” my husband felt that he had to come into the bedroom and rescue me, which he didn’t have to do. The boy did not do what he needed to do until my husband said he was going to take away four week’s T.V. if he didn’t. I say giving him a chance to earn back his field trip will undermine the expectation that he listen to me, as well as to his father, and, as I’ve said, my husband thinks he should be given a chance to earn back the trip. Advice?

]]> By: Aunt T http://unchartedparent.com/?p=839&cpage=1#comment-28045 Aunt T Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:53:11 +0000 http://unchartedparent.com/?p=839#comment-28045 Do they inherit those tendencies from their dads? Do they inherit those tendencies from their dads?

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